Credit Card jokes

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

What do crows use when they get a phone?

A "CAWing" card!

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Why did the credit card go to jail?

'Cuz it was guilty as charged!

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

What's the best card in Clash Royale?

The Credit Card.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.

Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.

Bully (😡): NO!

Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???

Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

What is money called in space?

Star bucks.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."