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A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, “Holy shit, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!”

The drunk says, “No shit, that’s why I took my car!”

a man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm the bartender asks what he wants the man says i would like one beer for me and one for the rode