Asphalt jokes
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
What’s big and black on the road?
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.
