Man

Man jokes

Cowboy

Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."

Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."

Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

Aid

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

Bucket

A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).

The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL

THE END

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  • Car

    A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

    The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

    The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

    The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

    The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

    The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

    The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

    The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

    Memes

    Car Door

    Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

    One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

    Son

    Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

    Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

    Son: Mom, I’m blind.

    Mom: Exactly.

    Gay Man

    How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?

    Take a dump on her vagina!

    Suicide

    A man walks into a library.

    Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

    Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

    Suicidal Man: ...

    Librarian: ...

    The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

    Kiss

    Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Scam

    Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

    Intelligence

    What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?

    A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.

    Acronym

    🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 💶 💶 💸 💶 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰💰 👍 👍 👌 👌 😍 😍✌️✌️ 🌭 🍌 🕳

    👨 👨 What does the initials GOP stand for?

    👬 Gay man On Penis.

    Priest

    Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

    Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

    Dwarf

    What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

    A wee hard man.

    Life

    Hi Gwen, how is life!

    A. Bad, lame, and suckish.

    B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!

    C. Perfect!

    I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!

    Road

    Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

    Jew

    A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”