Man jokes
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.