Man jokes
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
I ate a man because he was dead!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Why?
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!