Height jokes
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Yo mama so short, Super Mario mistook her for a Goomba and jumped on her head.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!