Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Look Jokes
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
You look like a burger.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
