Look jokes
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.