Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

0

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

0

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

0

Why didn’t the bear go to college? – Because bears don’t go to college.

0

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.

0

Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

0

What do you call a cow with a twitch? – Beef jerky.

0

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

0

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

0

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

0

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

0

What does a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabites.

0

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

0

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!

0

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

0

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? – All of them, skyscrapers can’t jump.

0

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

0

How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.

0

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? – A cross.

0

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

0
WorstJokesEver.com uses cookies.