Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. – She was eaten by a giant crab.

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? – A candy baa.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

Why do tigers have stripes? They don’t want to be spotted.

on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I’m a butcher

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

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