What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? -- A candy baa.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why do the French eat snails? -- They don't like fast food.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Itenticle.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says "I milked your cow". the neighbor replies "i have a bull not a cow"
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
Why are cats bad storytellers? -- Because they only have one tale.
Why do cows wear bells? -- Because their horns don't work.
