Animal jokes
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do you call an animal that knows karate? Moose Lee 😊😁
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.