Puns

Anonymous

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Chocolate

Anonymous

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? – A candy baa.

2

Puns

Anonymous

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? – “Bison.”

1

French

Anonymous

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

9

Spot

Anonymous

Why do tigers have stripes? They don’t want to be spotted.

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

2

Puns

Anonymous

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

Legs

Anonymous

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

Time

Anonymous

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

5

Legs

Anonymous

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

4

Politics

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

6

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.

9

Star

Anonymous

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. – She was eaten by a giant crab.

Stupid jokes

Anonymous

What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They’re under a buck.

0

Sally

Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

9

Puns

Anonymous

Why are cats bad storytellers? – Because they only have one tale.

1

Bull

Cow Like You

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

5

Eagle

BEN DOVER

Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

Fly

Anonymous

What do you call a dead fly? – A flew.

2