Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.
on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”
A panda walks into a bar, he asked the bar tender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him the leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “it’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.