Look jokes

Yo momma so ugly she scares herself when she looks in the mirror.

I walk into school, and look up praying.

"Man, would be a shame if the buildings fell from an airplane."

Nothing happened. There is no God.

What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?

One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?

Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...

Halal!

Is it meat you're looking for?

Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?

Because nobody is looking for them.

Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.

I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.

Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.

A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!

I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!

When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.

Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"

(B)

OKAY.

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"

Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?

Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.

In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?

The look they give you while you’re nailing them.