Look jokes

What looks like half a cat?

The other half.

What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?

A Peking duck.

Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.

Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)

If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?

A doppelgangbang.

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

Why do you want me?

Cus u like me...

What do you mean?

You love me.

No.

Look down.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.