Luck

Luck jokes

Wife

    • Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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    • Vagina

    • So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

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    • Luck memes

    Red Dot

    • I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

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    • Lottery

    • I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

    I now have $999,999.75.

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    • Orphan

    • So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

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    • Sex worker

    • A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

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    • Condom

    • A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

    The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

    The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

    The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

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    • Polar Bear

    • Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

    “I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

    Man

    • I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

    Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

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