I guy entered to a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching crossed the books and the librarian asked him. Librarian..... what are you looking for ? Man ....I am looking for a book!! Librarian... Which book ?? Man ...... FACEBOOK.
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
I told my friend to look at the clock then I said. " is this a bad time
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
How’d the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man? After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Thought a waitress said to me you're good looking In fact she was asking If I'd like some pudding
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what do me and a blind person have in commen after i look at Alfie's mum were both blind
Yo hairline so long it makes you look like mr clean
looks like McSkillet McKilledIt
