Kid jokes
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.