Kid jokes
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!