Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted
Why can't skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i've got a great spot! me: *grabs nuce and runs to my closet*
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
“Would you like to play the rape game?” “No wtf” She replied “Thats the spirit!”
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? -- Because she always ran away from the ball.
What happens when Stephen hawking dies? The windows shutdown sound plays.
