Child Abuse jokes
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.