Child Abuse jokes

Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

"Hee hee touched me."

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."

What's harder than steel?

Michel Jackson in an orphanage.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?

A minor.

Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.

What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

What's a child abuser's favorite song?

"Just Beat It!"

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.