Children jokes
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer: Fisse.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
I made a website for orphans.
It's all about parents who want children near their location.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.