Children jokes
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
aiyyaaaaaaa
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.