Kid jokes
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
You want to know how to spot a foster kid?
Them carrying their whole life in a Hefty trash bag.
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.
I said, "No, they don't have double doors."
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
Why are transgender people like confused kids?
Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.