Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
a women wakes up in a hospital after a accident and yells "doctor doctor i cant feel my legs" and the doctor say "i know i amputated your arms"
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
What did John say after someone shot his leg-
Oof
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What happens if a Asian walks into a wall with a boner. They hit there nose on the wall
