Injury jokes
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Cut.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
I slit my wrists.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
She tried to play patty cake!