Screw Jokes

Anonymous
in Sexism

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it’s all tongue and groove…

John Doe
in Puns

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

0
Stripper Jokes
in Personal

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.

Anonymous
in Orphan

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they don’t even got a home

Anonymous
in Ball

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

Anonymous
in Puns

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one. But I also think I screwed it up.

Lag
in Border

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only Juan.

Wildcat8760

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

1
Anonymous anananananan
in Emo

how many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?

none, because they all cry in the dark

Levi

What is Stephen Hawking’ favourite song

Head shoulders screws and bolts

4
Mrs light chocolate

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

ITSMINE
in Blonde

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

Anonymous
in Star Wars

Stormtrooper: What should we do with about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it

Maddie
in Emo

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry

yeetme
in Darkness

how many EMO KIDS DOES IT to screw in a light bulb? none they all sit in the dark and cry

IAmDaemon
in Christian

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

6
Anonymous

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

0
Anonymous

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

0
Anonymous

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to there other side!

1
LOL
in Kidnapping

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb, not 27 bc my basement is still dark.