The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinite because Feminists can’t solve problems.

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to there other side!

What is Stephen Hawking’ favourite song

Head shoulders screws and bolts

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

how many EMO KIDS DOES IT to screw in a light bulb? none they all sit in the dark and cry

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.

Stormtrooper: What should we do with about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one. But I also think I screwed it up.

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it’s all tongue and groove…

How many babys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb it takes two but don’t ask me how they get inside

I was with my blind friend, and he’s telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Wanna go ride a bike?

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?

IT JUST DOES!!!

Loading...