You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Screw Jokes
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!
Screw anima!
Oh wait, that's called hentai.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
