Humor

How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

Is it incest if it’s out in the open?

Or is it... outcest?

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?

Diddler on the Roof.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.

It’s all about execution.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?

Panera Bread.

What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.

White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!