Humor
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.