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Library

Daniel King

What is the tallest building?

A library 📚 -It has the most stories.

Man

Anonymous

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Difference

Anonymous

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

Time

groundwork

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Game

Anonymous

What is Donald Trump’s favorite game?

Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.

A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor

Girl

MR MOM

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

Jump

La oempf

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

House

Daniel King

How does a penguin 🐧 build its house?

Igloos it together!

Plane

Osama Bin Laden

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don’t belong in buildings

Animal

Anonymous

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

Trump

Anonymous

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.

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Sister

Aiden

heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

  1. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

  2. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Twin Towers

T.M.

The twin towers are like water bottles

it’s all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess

High

Bear

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

Dad

Lauren

Q: why did Sally fall off the building? A: Her dad pushed her

Trump

Anonymous

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

Fire

Anonymous

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

Orphan

Anonymous

What did the orphans friend give him for his birthday?

Lego so he can build a home.

Orphan

Anonymous

A PRIEST AND A RABBI RUN OUT OF A BURNING BUILDING

priest: What about the children Rabbi Rabbi: Fuck the children! priest: Do we have time?

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