Story

Daniel King

What is the tallest building?

A library 📚 -It has the most stories.

Man

Anonymous

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Difference

Anonymous

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.

A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor

Trump

Anonymous

What is Donald Trump’s favorite game?

Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.

Jump

La oempf

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Penguin

Daniel King

How does a penguin 🐧 build its house?

Igloos it together!

Die

MR MOM

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

Old

groundwork

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Animal

Anonymous

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

Plane

Osama Bin Laden

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don’t belong in buildings

Trump

Anonymous

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.

Trump

Anonymous

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

Friend

Bear

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

Fire

Anonymous

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

Engineering

Anonymous

I have a phobia of over engineered buildings. – It’s a complex complex complex.

Puns

Anonymous

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but i can’t seem to build on it.

Twin Towers

T.M.

The twin towers are like water bottles

it’s all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess

Blonde

Thomas

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building which one will land first?

  The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions

Nun

Dead Frank

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

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