Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don’t belong in buildings

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any mexicans.

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

Why is it called a building if its already built?

Q: why did Sally fall off the building? A: Her dad pushed her

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

Donald trump, “I play fortnite just to build walls”

A Muslim enters a building…

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

I have a phobia of over engineered buildings. – It’s a complex complex complex.

America:i going to build a wall

Nazi:been there

Soviet union:done that

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

A depressed man was caught on top of the empire state building with marijuana, needless to say, he didn’t want to come down.

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building which one will land first?

  The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions

How do you sink an American battleship?

Have the French build it

If you spin a fidget spinner You’ll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you’ll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You’ll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You’ll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you’ll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you’ll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You’ll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you’ll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER

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