Humor
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Shresh
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.