Humor
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Memes
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!