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What do you call a sad Coffee

Despesso

What’s the last thing that went through John f Kennedy’s head?

A bullet

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

And the lord said unto John “come forth and you will receive eternal life” but John came fifth and won a toaster

There was a boy called John that had no arms or legs and his friends knocked on for him asking his mam if he is coming out to play armies. His mam replies saying that he can’t play armies because he has no arms or legs. His friends say I know he isnt actually playing we are using him as a sandbag.

And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth, and won a toaster

Me: John what did he do earlier

John: hold on, I’m trying to think

Me: I thought I smelled poop

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That’s why we can’t see him anymore.

John say a Gay in a wheel chair

“I didn’t know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable”

I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John’s door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, “you little gimp get on the bed”. Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded “what the fudge are you doing”. I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back “shut it paul you have genital warts”. John screams "SHUT THE F... UP." He then gives us it so rough i can’t walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.

no one: literally no one: Abraham Lincoln: dies John Wilkes Booth: ranks up

Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butter flavor 😂

What did john cena say to the blind man? U CANT SEE ME!

John took a bath with bubbles. Bubbles was a man.

WANNA HEAR A FUNNY JOKE: JOHNS LIFE

John: Whats 9+10? Jake:21