Zombie jokes
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
Random post #3
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
What hood do zombies come from?
Dead Ends.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
Haha, dead.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.