Humor

That’s right, I have my own category😎

What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?

Toothpaste.

How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.

Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.

So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?

Domi-nose.

What's up, bitches? Miss me?

If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?

Here's a joke... you.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?

It doesn’t hit home.

What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.