Humor

if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

Why are most dark jokes about orphans?

They can't complain to their parents.

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

What did one butthole say to the other?

"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"

What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?

Domi-nose.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.

Just not for long!

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?

Til death do we park.

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”

Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!

"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"

"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"

Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.

Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?

He wanted to mash potatoes!