Humor
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.