The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Humor
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
