Humor
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
Memes
ben woof
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.