Humor

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.

Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.

Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"

Yo mama so rich,

her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!