Humor
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!