Humor

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.