Humor
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Bro, gay jokes aren't even funny.
Like...
"Cum on guys."
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.