Humor
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Bro, gay jokes aren't even funny.
Like...
"Cum on guys."
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.