Humor
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Hahah, funny joke!
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
69.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"