I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Humor
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Spell "attic."
Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
