Similarity Jokes

Yeeeet

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

8

Meme Machine

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Girlfriend

Anonymous

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.

Baby

Anonymous

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.

Speed

Anonymous

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

Orphan

Anonymous

What is the similarity between orphans and apples? They both get thrown out

Offensive

Anonymous

Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?

They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

1

Dark Humor

Anonymous

Dark humor and woman are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

Bomb

Anonymous

whats a similarity between harvey weinstein's pants and american bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties

Girlfriend

Anonymous

A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?

B : They're both hot?

A : They're both massive.

Pillow

Anonymous

Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.

Stripper

Anonymous

How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

Blow

Anonymous

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike? You can't get either one at home.

Hue G. Rection

in School

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

8

Anonymous

Do u know the similarity between a penis and cucumber is ? They both have cum in it

0

Car

Anonymous

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one

4

Anti-jokes

Anonymous

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

Hangy Boi

in Depression

What's a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?

They both leave you Hanging

2

Gun

Anonymous

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

3

Mean guy

in Orphan

Whats a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid

The both cant here there parents