Similarity jokes
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!