Similarity Jokes

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

What is the similarity between orphans and apples? They both get thrown out

Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?

They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

Dark humor and woman are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

whats a similarity between harvey weinstein's pants and american bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties

A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?

B : They're both hot?

A : They're both massive.

Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.

How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike? You can't get either one at home.

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

Do u know the similarity between a penis and cucumber is ? They both have cum in it

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

What's a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?

They both leave you Hanging

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

Whats a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid

The both cant here there parents