What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples? They both get thrown out
Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?
They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns
Dark humor and woman are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
whats a similarity between harvey weinstein's pants and american bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun?
B : They're both hot?
A : They're both massive.
Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.
How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike? You can't get either one at home.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Do u know the similarity between a penis and cucumber is ? They both have cum in it
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?
They both leave you Hanging
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves… like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
