What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

What’s a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?

They both leave you Hanging

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don’t get them!

How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking “Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!”

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

Whats similar between a priest and McDonalds?

They both shove their meat inbetween 10 year old buns

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb

You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman

What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman

They’re both accidents

What is the similarities of an orphan and a newborn plant, Both their parents were seperated.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.

whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights

they are both going to be hanging from a tree

What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?

They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns

Dark humor and woman are very similar…

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

What’s the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang…

As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast, it has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

why r vaginas and the Mariana trench similar lots of seamen goes missing there

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar? Because they both have eyes.

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come