Similarity jokes
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
Memes
There has to be a connection
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.