Similarity Jokes

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.


Dark humor and woman are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

whats a similarity between harvey weinstein's pants and american bombs?

They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties

Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one


What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.


I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves… like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(