What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
