Health jokes
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.