Health jokes
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.