Health jokes
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Memes
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.