Health jokes
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
Diarrhea.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."