A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A nectarine
A Vampire goes to the Bakery:
Vampire🧛♂️: „One Bun please.“
Bäcker👩🍳: „But you're Vampire, don't you need blood 🩸 ?“
Vampir🧛♂️: „Yes, there is an accident outside and i need something to dip“
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher...
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman
Frostbite
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon? Bat Damon!
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Whats a cannibal's favourite drink? A Bloody mary
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test
what do you get when you crossa vapire wit a teacher?/ lotsa blood test
What flies around the school in night? Alpha-bats!
What's common in vampires and American kids ?
They both don't get old .
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
