A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood?”
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”
Vampire Jokes
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? same time next month?
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A nectarine
Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher…
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman
Frostbite
What do you call vampire Matt Damon? Bat Damon!
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
“See you next month.”
what’s a vampires favourite fruit? a neck-tarine
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? “Same time next month?”
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
why cant vampires tell jokes right? all their jokes just SUCK
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first bite <3
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife’s coughin’ (coffin…coughin’…get it?)
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman? when is your next blood period?
What is the favorite drink of a vampire? bloody mary