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A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU F...ERS”

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common? A: Fu@king close to water!