Health jokes
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Memes
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.