Health jokes
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
I did a good walk and I...
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
Why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to escape the corono virise?
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
TDS? More like STDs.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
Comment if you're not vaccinated and don't plan to be!
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.