Health jokes
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-