Health jokes
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.