Health jokes
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
Ajay's leg.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?