Health jokes

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Why do people poop?

Because it we need to!

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!

How to learn your Vitamins:

A = Art.

B = Bouncy Balls.

C = Cookies.

D = Da Sun.

You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

l li

ll l_

What’s the most positive thing in Africa?

Their HIV test.

Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!

Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!

Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...

Mom:....

I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I poo 11 times a day.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

Air quality alert code brown!