Spider jokes
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Memes
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"