Health jokes
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Arden is so fat!
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!