Health jokes
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
It's still depression, by the way.
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Vaseline
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Comment if you're not vaccinated and don't plan to be!
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
What is a pooper man called? A dentist.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30).
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.