Health jokes
You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
Why can't orphans smoke?
They don't have parents ._.
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
Memes
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.