Health jokes
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
Memes
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
My bum hurts.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
I have 206 bones. When I look at you, I have 207.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.