Teenager jokes
Like if you know someone is emo.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."