A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
When your exercising and you feel the “gush”
What do you call sweaty tities Humitits
Good afternoon. My name is Russell. And I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
I don’t know why I go to the gym being healthy is dying fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up
*karen walks into MCcdonalds lady at the counter:HI what can I get for you today?? Karen:i want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE lady at the counter:yes miss Karen:I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS lady at the counter:*sweats* Karen:THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW SKINY NOODLE
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating causing a tsunami
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat? VEGETABLE OIL!
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fan's.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
As a brother I'm have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that's is going around and those symptoms is that she has big titties, sweat pussy, and a great personality.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes
Me:Why did the bus drop his ice cream? Sanity to live: I don't know? Me:He was run over by Timmy!!! Sanity to live?*dies* Me:*At edge of bridge* wow sweat view Sanity to live:*resurrected* Narrator: sometimes a bridge is all you need... (sponsored by jumping bridges)
You mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
McDonalds sweat chilly chicken one.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R Whites in the other..I got into a hot sweat I think I have Corona Virus
what is the sweat between dolly parton's boobs
mountain dew
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me but it just made him sweat.
When start sweating after filling in c for the third time in a row
One day johnny told his dad this girl in his class who liked him he thoe she was cute she sead aw your like candy he doesn't say any thing he sead why don't u think I am sweat like candy little Johnny say well some time I get a tooth ake and it hurt so I stop eating it like I stobed liking u
