Health jokes
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I have it.
Memes
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.