Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Health Jokes
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. ๐
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
