Health jokes
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
When I walk to school, I fart.
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.