Health jokes
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
When I walk to school, I fart.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
I have it.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!