Health jokes
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.