Health jokes
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
I have it.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!