Health jokes
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Memes
I feel bad for the doc now✌️💀
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!