Pen Jokes

Same guy as bellow

Why does the nurse need a red pen?

In case she has to draw blood


Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.


Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life


All these jokes are pen-ful to read.

in Puns

Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because he kept on running out of the pen.

in Puns

What is a penguin without a pen? A guin…



School Shooter Memes

When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌


I brought a new pen that can write underwater, it can also write other words.

in Puns

What do you call a pen with no head DeCAPitated

"emo chick"
in Emo

what game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

tic tac toe.

in Depression

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine…. 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol

Misstiano Penaldo
in Penaldo

I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!


Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. “There is one small favor I can offer you,” the chief went on. “We’ll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers”. Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, “There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I’ll decide for yo…” “Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?” the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler’s Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, “I’m afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we’d have no way of sending it anywh…” Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. “But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?” the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief’s ear, “You’ll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!”

in Puns

Why did the pen stop writing? CAUSE THE PEN WASNT VERY DEPENDABLE

in Job

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills.” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

Honest Penaldo Fan
in Penaldo

I was in math class and we were learning geometry. My teacher said PENTAGON then all of a sudden PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS so he came looking for some because he’s a finished pen merchant! Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my education 🤬 !

Good news people michael jackson is still alive, they found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids


What was the ballpoint’s favorite sport? Pen-nis

Teacher’s pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet left with questions and no CLUE.