Health

Health jokes

Shot

    • A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

    The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

    The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

    The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

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    • Depression

    • Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

    Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

  • 2

    • Man

    • What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?

    They both take it in the back and go woop woop.

    Cow

    • Two cows are grazing in a field.

    One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

    The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Why did the orphan try to get hurt?

    Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.

    He looks around, no one is there.

  • 3

    • Pill

    • JACK AND JILL 2.0

    After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

    Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,

    And Jill screamed "Chill!"

  • 1

    • Rhyme

    • Jack and Jill went up a hill

    To pick some dill.

    Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,

    And he needed a painkiller pill.

  • 1

    • Pen

    • My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

    We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

  • 1