Reaction

Reaction Jokes

Coconut

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

Orphan

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

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  • Parent

    When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

    School

    What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

    When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

    Gun

    I don't like the word "gun".

    Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

    Memes

    Lemon

    What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. πŸ™‚πŸ’ŠπŸ’‰

  • 1
  • Daughter

    I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

    Depression

    When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?

    Erection

    I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

  • 6
  • Man

    Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"

    Gay

    Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

    Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

    Richard: No, I couldn't.

    Richard's mom: Why?

    Richard: Because he was cute.

    Hitler

    When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?

  • 1
  • Carrot

    So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

  • 6
  • Slap

    The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, β€œDo you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

    Trump replies, β€œI seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

    So the Pope slapped him.

    Horse

    A horse walks into a bar.

    Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

    Trampoline

    Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.