Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?
When I woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats and eye, but when hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people loose their shit?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
my friend died from an allergic reaction.he gave me an EpiPen while he was dying so now i have something to remember him from.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
I was going to make a chemistry joke.. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom and you look at your friend cause it’s the kid you predicted
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when penaldo appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but I said "no pens for you". And “brentford”.He cried and ran away. Shame on you penaldo the fraud.
I don,t think I'm allergic to this
ahem.. if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this
Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?
or
hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?
some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
I would tell you a science joke but I know I won't get a reaction.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
