Health jokes
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"