XXXtentacion

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Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. So I unplugged his life support. (ref)

Man: How do you prepare your chicken? Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins. I was about to run and tell my wife, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...