I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Health Jokes
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
