Vocabulary jokes
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
Memes
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
How do you call a cute door?
A-door-able.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Spell "IOUT", no space.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CABULARY!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!