One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
Health Jokes
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Official orgasm donor.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
I have cripple and depression.
