Health jokes
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."