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Go jokes

Chicken

    • When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

    “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

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    • Cheetah

    • I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

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    • Straight

    • I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

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    • Punch Line

    • A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

    He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

    He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

    Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

    Orphan

    • Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

    Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Go memes

    Jesus

    • Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

    Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

    Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

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    • Brother

    • My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

    Woman

    • I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

    Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

    Lawyer

    • Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

    The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

    Sex

    • Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

    Girlfriend: No.

    Boyfriend: Why?

    Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

    Boyfriend: No, I don't.

    NEXT MINUTE

    The man could hear banging.

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